Why, universe, why?

[liadra]

I haven't written in over a year. And every time I sit down to write I have mild panic. Why am I afraid to write?

Comments

[0jack]

OMG THERE YOU ARE HI. <3 I WILL HOLD YOUR HAND.

[liadra]

It's really sad. I mean, I want to write, but the closer I get to putting pen on paper the more afraid I become. It's like agoraphobia, only for writers. I just picked up my Natalie Goldberg books again and am reading them. I have pens and a book. I'm determined that I'll write something - even if it's just "I'm afraid to write" over and over. And my brain has turned to mush :( I used to have all sorts of poetry and story ideas. I have no idea where they went. Studip brain. AUGH!

[0jack]

(a) Any chance it's your meds?
(b) It sounds like anxiety/depression otherwise.

I've got an original fiction community going right now, we've talked some about depression and being blocked. It's over at http://ficdaily.dreamwidth.org/.

Have you tried writing some fanfic? That helps me sometimes.

[liadra]

I'm sure some of it is my meds. And I have been strugging with a lot of anxiety in general (I have lovely meds for that, too. I hate my brain sometimes).

Hrm. fanfic. I haven't done that in ages - since I gamed regularly, in fact. I'm hoping that if I just make myself put words - any words - on the paper it might shake something loose. I've been reading a lot lately, and it's made me more aware of the fact that I'm not writing. Funny how that works, huh?

I'll check out that community. It might just help!